Hiding myself from reality for two weeks. Need a break from this busy city, to make things right, to adjust my feelings. I was lost, in every way, not doing anything that I'm feeling right for quite some time. The moment when you don't know what you want, hardest time ever! Cannot even make a decision, because you're afraid. Afraid of losing a person that you care, but not in return. Seriously, ain't nobody care about that, even him. Why you care so much? I know I know, I sounds like a fool in this situation. Not to blame, I deserve all these because I brought them all in myself. I don't know what can I do anymore, what I can do, I did. Nothing in return, seriously nothing. This is like so obvious that you doesn't like me at all. My heart just sink.... One last thing I did before leaving, I called you. I was thinking to call or not since I was on my way to the airport, this question annoyed the hell out of me. And I called at the very last minutes, telling you I'm leaving is the hardest and saddest thing on earth. I don't feel like leaving... You will never know how much you meant for me, although we are just friends all these while. Without notice, you just came in all of sudden. Feelings that cannot be control, cannot be push away. Hard time continuously for months. It's time to make an end now.
Worth it to go back this trip, I see things clear and do things right. With no regrets! How funny when a person turns you into emotional and you take him as priority, trying your best to fix in everything. But think! Relationship can only happen when two person giving in not one. I was thinking and refreshing memories when I was in the flight, fourteen hours flight and four hours transit, I was thinking all the time. Decision in the making! Well, I know it's time.... It's time to make a decision.
Let it go. Let it go, will be the best way. Let the feelings fade away, memories to be forget. Whatever happen in hometown, stay there. When my next trip back home, it's over. I just want to get rid of it and be good. London is the best place for me to going through hard time, I just want to stay here until I'm fine. My task is not talking to you from now on, not telling you anything, no more! Yup, I'm hiding myself from this issue. I just can't face it and solve. Me, looser!
Lots of loves,
Melissa Tan
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