I am not happy, not happy, not happy, not happy, not happyyyyyyyyyy! I did nothing today, not even a single thing, not even finalise my dessertations's content, not even a little bit sketch for my haptic design. I have everything on my mind, but I just can't make it. I have this problem that software don't do, pencil don't speak, not doing anything all day long, which make me frustrated so much on myself. I feel the disappointment, not doing any changes, frustration added up, I'm mad! So mad! When even I don't know how to handle myself, not to say others. Totally stuck in a situation, my mind only have I don't know, I don't know, I really don't know. My mind asked: Master, how can you don't know anything? Heart answered: I'm died, so died. Shame on me. So fuck up. I made a lot of dream lately, so much weird and nonsense dream. I mixed up real life and dream I made. I'm not clear with illusion and reality. Feeling so useless like every moment. Why I just can't make it? I have everything, just everything in my mind. F this kinda attitude so so much!
I thought I'll be fine after a good long sleep. I thought Im okay after having some good food. I thought shopping can cure everything like last time. I thought talking to the girlfriend would make me relax but I just don't know how to start, even I know but I don't know what to tell, mixed feelings that is unexplainable. I'm one troublesome girl, so so much troublesome and annoying no matter in what. Somehow, I sad for nothing, this is doesn't make sense at all! Leave me alone...
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