A post for him =)

whenever i think about him i'll just smile ! although now things turn out to be like this , but sweet memories still stand for ninety percent . those memories can really cover the bad one . i'm a lousy person with super poor memory but memories he gave me i cant really forget about it . really really memoriable till i cant even forget one ! thats nice !

reason for writing this ; i want to write out the whole story , the whole thing in details . from the beginning till now . no matter how it turn out at the end its still the sweetest memories for me =D


i heard his name since i'm form 2 , he gave me a bad image cause she hurts lotsa girls , my friends included . so you can really imagine how bad is him . he is that kind of playboy in my school and he is famous with that . everyone gossip about him with his bad news . so in my mind , he is worst . he is an evil . hahh

the very first time i saw him face-to-face was i went bali bali cafe with alvin and the gang , they are really a big gang ! that time was new year and we played games . first time i meet all their friends . then the second time i meet him was my birthday , my girls celebrated my birthday at bali . that time we was at bali with jensen . thats the second time i meet him ! heheh =)
i remember he added me in friendster and msn , we started to chat there . i was really shocked when i saw his request . hahaha =D

first time chat with him is kinda weird cause i've never think that i will chat with him . hahaha . and i told my friends about that and we started to gossip about him in class . he got tons of storiesssss and every single story is really interesting ! thats cool . hrmm , day by day things we chat and topic we discuss increase and increase . we started to know more about each other and our lifestyle is kinda same , things we like and interested in is exactly the same . at that time , i was facing a big problems . so whenever i felt depressed i'll chat with him and started to asked him weird weird questions . his opinions and his strong words can really calm me down although he dont know what happen to me .

till one day , he asked me about that and he said out that guy's name . i was shocked , was thinking how he know . then the way he talked its like he know the whole story dy , i get lie . i told him everything and at last he told me actually he dont know the whole story . how stupid am i , told him everything . urghhhh ! since that day he perli me everyday . once i'm online he will pm me and started to talked about the stupid story . zzz . so want to slap die him .

i remember the first time hang-out , we went kfc with miss monkey , suening . lst and runwei . cause i asked him helped me buy hang ten polo tee so went out with him took my tee . simple as that . hahaha =D one day he phoned me at two something midnight and i was sleeping that time . talked till blur blur then end the phone call , then he texted me . i was shocked o.o , that time my mind was thinking ; maybe he too free nothing to do . the second time he phone me and we chit-chat through phone for more than 3 hours and continuosly day after day . we did texted a lot , from day to night everyday . then he started to approach , i reject him for three times . cause of his hardwork and things he did make me accept at the fourth time .

the story begins at 3rd of september ; noon

WE HAD GO THROUGH ALOT
no ones know how i go through all these . no ones know how i settle down my mood . no ones know how the-true-feelings is . we did argue for few times . you did calm me down . you did tolerate me alot . we did plan for future . HAHAHA =) sounds stupid ! our relationship go up-side-down , i dont blame you . i dont turn the arrow to anyone . i tried to understand , tried to mend back all those in the past . i get opinion from others but i never follow . i follow my own way . i work hard , i put in effort . i dare myself to get what i want without knowing the harm . i dare not to say i'm the-best but i did try my best to give what i could give . how i wish i will get the same in return . things doesnt goes well and it goes harder and harder . i cant afford all these alone . i'm a loser , tears fall whenever i'm fear . the first and the last ! hahhh

thank god , i did blog out everything in details everytime went out with you . i did upload all those photos we took in my blog . blog for an article for anniversary . whenever i miss you i cant read back all those article . hehh =)
and your pressie , the choco , the bear and the tee !
the tee that hold promises ! =D


no one ever say he is a good man , a better man . no one ever say something positive about him . i've numb to hear all those negative thingy from others . till i can expect what they wanna said to me . hahaha =) but i've confident on him , things i heard never infect me at all . cause his action did prove at the beginning . he is not that worst as you peoples thought , see whether he want to put in effort or not . he can really be the best one . you peoples will never expect what he will do . hs outlook looks mature and stable , but honestly he is kinda childish . hahh . no one will know the real him . he is special and a lil bit hard to understand . he will try to hide his real-him from others . in short , he is awesome in the past few months .


till now i dont understand why ? why he will turn to be like this ? how good if he is willing to hear and we try to solve everything ! it will really awesome afterall .
maybe he is tired ?! maybe he wanna get his peace of mind ?! maybe he change ?!
WHO KNOWS ?!
nothing i can do !
i can just wait ; i cant just wish for something i want ; let everything to be naturally


at least i make it clear and i did appreaciate the moment with you
no regrets !
i can still =) when i refresh back everything XD


i make the decision by not following my heart
i dare not to follow my heart
no matter how
or maybe you have make it end ?!
even you dont tell , i can feel that from the way you text with me or talk to me

then that will be the time to be friends with you , to let go

stupid me . stupid me . stupid me
hahhhh =S


i dont want to be the first to end this
but i'm not the one who can control this
one thing ; i do respect you . i hope you too




lots of loves .
melissa