The process

The beginning always gives me lotsa lotsa memories
Beginning makes you feel confident
Make your mind like ‘okay,everything will be fine cause I got him beside me ‘
But after months and months there are some changes
Your indifference . your changes . your different
I feel fear seriously
So near yet so far
So far apart
I feel the distance that you will never realize
You will never know how I feel
You will never ask why ?
Did you ever spend five minutes ; the only five minutes to ask how am I today ?
Did I ever stand in your mind for five minutes ?
My friends ask me how am I today ?
I’ll ask myself why this question not from you ?
But I’m glad I have them
When I’m depressed they are the one I can text and spilt everything out
But why you’re not the one who I can talk with ?
ALL IN ?
I feel fear to do so
The same question keep repeat and repeat in my mind
I don’t like the feeling to being alone
That’s why I hang out , you ask me why I keep outing ?
Why cant I outing as you don’t have the only five minutes to even bother me or think of me
Heart to heart
This is hard
Really hard
Not everyone can hold the promises till the end
not everyone can cherish their partner for a long long journey
peoples may tired
me too
I feel the tiredness
even you don’t ask me , I wont be the one who repeat the question again
I will never be the one who asking this and that anymore
I will never be anymore . . .
If your partner don’t co-operate with you or even stand beside you
You will just wanna let it be and let it sink
Everytime when I’m facing this problems I want to sleep
I really wanna sleep for a long long time
My friends told me ‘ even if you sleep for the longest time , when you wake up the problems is still there ‘
Everything is still there for you to solve it
I likes all those strong’s words from you peoples
That’s really help a lot when I’m helpless
For me to comfort myself

In the afternoon ; 5.15pm
I tell him how I feel
I spilt everything out with high and low voice
I don’t care at least I tell means I try to solve
If after you heard all those and you feel nothing
I wont be telling anymore
I will just let it be
This is the first and the last
Will never again
I say it and I meant it

#end !